Bhai ka resume..(funny)

Bhai ka resume

Under World Name:
Bhai Supariwala

Career Objective:

To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)

Educational Details:

* B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994

* M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and the Unlawful Activists(VPISUA), August 1996.

* PHD (Thesis):

"On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts"

Coursework:

* Cop Psychology

* Plastic Explosives Technology

* Bomb Controls and Timer Device Theory

* International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking

* Object Oriented Crime Design

Work Experience:

* Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990-Aug 1991

* Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project

* Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry; and mint flavors (Patent# 007,13,666)

Summer Internship:

* Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay , June1987-July1990

* Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings

* Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections

Honors & Achievements:

* Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime)

* Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter

* Performer of the year in 2004 General Elections in Bihar & U.P.

* Strong hold on Govt. & NGOs & Top Business Houses.

* Specialized in extortion,illegal construction business & fake academic degree supply.

References:

* Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi

* Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi

* Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai

Personal Details - Cannot Be Disclosed Because of Security Reasons.