Leader: "Are you interested in having a country made for the followers of ChhooManter? This new country will be called Republic of Newistan."
Admee: "Why is there a need for a new country?"
Leader: "Because in the present set-up, when Phhoo people are in majority, we can not guarantee basic human rights for the Chhoo people. Peace-loving followers of ChhooManter feel threatened by the extremists among the Phhoo. We need to create a new country where Chhoo people will be in majority. That is the only way to safeguard the interests of the Chhoo people."
Admee: "But what about the extremists of the ChhooManter faith."
Leader: "You don’t have to worry about them. Once Newistan is created, people of all faiths, Chhoo, Phhoo, Mhhoo, will live there peacefully. We know how to control our extremists. Newistan is not being made for ChhooManter, instead it is being made to protect the followers of ChhooManter. Get it?"
Admee: "I get it."Leader: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad."
Admee: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. Our leader zindabad."Leader & Admee: "Lay ker rahain gaay Newistan. Bun ker rahay gaa Newistan."Republic of Newistan was born.
Years later ...
Ghol: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. Our government murdabad. The country is going down the drain because the majority is not correctly following ChhooManter and the government is not doing anything about it. This country was made in the name of ChhooManter. We want to see more Chhoo everywhere."Subsequently the name of the country was changed to ChhooManter Republic of Newistan.
Ghol: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. Beware of the non-Chhoos that have entered the ranks of the Chhoos. The DarFanis look like us but their beliefs are different. The DarFani people are controlling important segments of the government. Only Chhoos of the correct beliefs must control the government. DarFani people must be declared non-Chhoos. DarFani murdabad. ChhooManter zindabad."Subsequently the DarFani sect of ChhooManter was cast out of the faith.
....and later Ghol: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. Chhoo people zindabad. We don’t like non-Chhoo people around here. Why, in our ChhooManter Republic of Newistan, so much freedom has been given to the non-Chhoos? This much freedom to non-Chhoos goes against the principles of ChhooManter. There must be laws to keep the non-Chhoos under control."Subsequently a blasphemy law was passed. Anybody speaking against ChhooManter will be punished. What constitutes "speaking against ChhooManter" will be determined by the religious leaders of ChhooManter.
... and later Ghol: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. We want more Chhoo in every aspect of the lives of the citizens of this country. We demand that all laws of the ChhooManter Republic of Newistan be made more Chhooic."
Admee: "What is happening here? What Chhooic laws are you talking about?"
Ghol: "ChhooManter is a complete ideology. ChhooManter prescribes ways for eating, drinking, and having sex, for commerce, for space travel, for bungee jumping, for everything. Read the book."
Admee: "Which book? That book which talks about one thing in one sentence and then jumps on a completely different topic in the next! That book which requires six other books for its ‘correct’ interpretation."
Ghol: "Don’t speak like this. You could be punished under the Blasphemy law of the ChhooManter Republic of Newistan."
Admee: "In the fraternity of ChhooManter there are different groups of people and their beliefs are very different. Who would decide which beliefs are more Chhoic than others?"
Ghol: "There may be different groups, but there is only one group that is right. The correct path is the one that the majority adheres to. Listen to us carefully: ChhooManter is, what we are telling you, no less, no more. There is a Council of ChhooManter Ideology. The Council will decide what is Chhooic and what is not."
And Now Ghol: "ChhooManter zindabad. Newistan zindabad. It is great that the citizens of this country will now see more Chhoo in every aspect of their lives. The Council of ChhooManter Ideology has decided the pious ways we should live, interact, and do commerce. All citizens are requested to change their lives accordingly."
Admee: "But our leader who asked me to join the movement of Newistan spoke of something very different. He promised nobody will bother anyone in Newistan."
Ghol: "Oh, that pork-eating, wine-drinking bastard! What did he have anything to do with ChhooManter? Remember his face? He did not even have a beard. He was just a politician."
Admee: "I don’t feel comfortable with you guys. You are making me repulsive of our faith. I thought I was doing my bit of Chhoo, but you guys have started imposing your Chhoo on me. You criticize me for everything. You don’t like the way I eat, drink, dress, and live my life. Can’t you leave me alone?"
Ghol: "What kind of heresy is this? This country was made in the name of ChhooManter. ChhooManter is even part of its official name: ChhooManter Republic of Newistan. The constitution of this country says that everything here will be done according to the laws of ChhooManter. You are a Chhoo and being a Chhoo imposes certain duties on you. If Newistan’s Chhooic rules make you so uncomfortable you are welcome to leave and go somewhere else."
Admee: "But we have been living here for ages. Why should we leave this place? Even if we wanted to go anywhere we can not. We are very poor, we don’t have any money to go anywhere."
Ghol: "Well, if you decide to stick around here then you would have to live your life according to the golden principles of ChhooManter. There are no two ways about it. Newistan was made in the name of ChhooManter and ChhooManter is what you will get here. You must adopt ChhooManter in its entirety, the way we have been telling you. We know what is good for you."
Admee: "What about other faiths? Are you letting followers of other faiths live here?"
Ghol: "Most definitely! In fact, ChhooManter is very tolerant of other faiths. People of other faiths could do whatever they want to do, provided they keep a low profile and don’t mess with the followers of ChhooManter.”
Admee: “Great! That is exactly what I want to do. I want to keep a low profile and I don’t want to mess with anyone. OK, I am leaving the faith of ChhooManter; I will adopt a new faith."
Ghol: "What kind of Chhoo are you? You don’t even know the basic principles of ChhooManter! You don’t know that leaving the faith is not an option! According to the rules of ChhooManter we will kill if you ever left the faith."
Moral of the story: Never take the candy from strangers and never trust their promises either.
